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So I'm sitting in the 4 walls of the theory room in college. Silence. Peaceful. A bit too peaceful. The bipolar wave has attacked me, and I'm drowning in a sea of depression. So, people tend to ask: "Are you okay?" Well...

Today is a bad day. Really bad. DOnt get me wrong I do have bad days some days, but there's something about today. Life hurts. Despite being one of those fast running bipolar people, I have done and achieved something rather specatular, I survived and kept of going. And I will keep on going, there really isnt any time to stop. Although the pressure of fast thoughts isnt trying to penetrate my skull in a bid for freedom, the visuals and slowness of my lobes are visually evident on my face. You can't see the tears, but they are there, on standby.

For those who know me, I have been spending great chunks of my life medication-free. The sentence here would be: Attempt bordering on ineffectiveness. Other treatments are available in my favour, and work- I'm not dead yet- but then again it doesn't work for me because it doesn't make my life worth living. There's no win-win.

Don't be plagued by what I'm saying, many medications don't work for people, slow or fast functioning. The feeling of depression and trying to cope with it, as well as having complete
faith in whatever treatment your recieving, is in fact very normal. For what it's worth, soldier on.

But ask yourself: Will I be able to be as social as I used to? Will I wake up and go to sleep with guilt and hopelessness constantly on my mind? Will I live a normal, functional life? Will this treatment ever actually work?  If you want to be better, you have to believe that it will. With patience and a little bit of faith, you can go a long way. I have been fed every type of medication out there in the hope that I will find the right cocktail of drugs to put me on the road of recovery. And that experiment is still on going. Don't get impatient, you wont get anywhere otherwise.

So I can tell you this: Don't give up. Stay alive. Keep breathing. Inhale the goodness of treatment, and exhale everything to do with a bad day.
 





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